🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?